Read Missing Gretyl - You Only Love Twice by Si Page Free Online
Book Title: Missing Gretyl - You Only Love Twice|
The author of the book: Si Page
Edition: Grosvenor House Publishing Limited
Date of issue: June 17th 2013
ISBN 13: 9781781488140
Format files: PDF
The size of the: 961 KB
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Reader ratings: 4.9
Read full description of the books:
SOME SAY GRETYL IS LOUD, HAIRY AND OBNOXIOUS. OTHERS ARE LESS COMPLIMENTARY.
Buckle up for a comedic roller coaster ride, with bad wigs, waxing disasters, holiday scams, a deluded hitman, lust, arson and murder.
Albert Trollop takes refuge at his allotment and the betting office, while his wife, Gretyl, lives for the shopping channels, car boot sales and local gossip.
After fifty years of marriage, she’s thinking of a new life, somewhere hot. He’s thinking of the crematorium. She’s thinking of stuffing herself in a bikini. He's thinking of a taxidermist. The Londoners continue their separate lives until a mysterious letter turns their world upside down.
In Essex, Dave and Sharon Soddall are struggling on benefits and looking for a get-rich-quick solution. With the help of a devious financial advisor, they concoct a plan and ‘Costa Soddall Travel’ is born.
Will the Soddalls pull off the con of a lifetime? Can Gretyl be silenced? Will Albert end up missing Gretyl?
"'Missing Gretyl' is a rare treat - a brilliantly written comedy novel that's genuinely funny." Mark Stibbe, best selling, award-winning writer.
Missing Gretyl is also available as a Kindle eBook through Amazon.
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Read information about the author
Si Page was born in Romford, Essex in 1970 and grew up with a love of football, films, frolicking and females (the priority of the four 'F's reversed during his teenage years).
After attending three different senior schools, Si decided that it was a waste of time turning up for his GCE exams and bunked off to head for the workplace as a carpet fitter where he found the YTS scheme waiting with no more than twenty-something quid a week and a clip round the ear for cutting carpet 'very wonky'.
Si describes the next ten years of his working life in grim fashion: 'I worked as a telesales 'thingy' (ew), vending machine salesman (spit), insurance clerk (snore), debt collector (ouch), recruitment consultant (I liked that one) and a mortgage broker (I worked for sharks and didn't last long).'
Things were soon to change drastically in 1996, when Si decided to become a 'real' student and study for a B.A. Hons. Theology Degree somewhere outside of Essex, in a strange land called 'The North'. Things were reportedly so bad 'oop North', that Si expected to be living among whippet-racing peasants dressed in shell suits, living off a diet of mushy peas. Oh, and statistically, Northerners tend to have a habit of dying much younger.
Si was concerned about something called the North-South divide and mistook it for the Northern and Southern Hemispheres, where he believed that pollution due to population density must have been the reason for poor health among Northerners and not just the mushy peas.
After a car journey up the M6 motorway to a grassy dwelling called Cheshire, Si survived three years of student life and the carcass served up in the college canteen. He finished his degree in 1999 and until 2007 he worked as a Reverend in the North West of England - Merseyside and Lancashire. Si planned that among more sophisticated company, he would say that he resided a few miles away from two world class golfing resorts - the first near Royal Birkdale, and the second, a few cosy miles from Royal Lytham.
Simon has since been involved in a number of creative projects, including an Oscar-nominated short film called 'Most'. His first novel was a very successful comedy (with over 161 reviews) called, Missing Gretyl (also a screenplay). His second was a tongue-in-cheek parody and satirical work on David Cameron, called 'The Inside Scoop: The Secret Journal of a Prime Minister,' and his third and most recent is an exciting novel called NO IDEA, released on 1st December 2016.
Si is also working on three other books at present, which include the sequel to Missing Gretyl, a Billy Elliott-type adventure called, The Collar, and more recently, a comedy with the working title: The Holiday.
Si has two lovely boys called Ruben and Freddie and has been married for eighteen years to a beautiful lady called Solana, who prior to meeting Si, enjoyed the full use of her mental faculties.
Totally dedicated to writing these days, Si has taken his classroom humour, workplace banter and on a more serious note, life skills from the pastorate, to write funny, challenging and original drama.
There's plenty more to come... watch this space!
You can also find out more about Si Page on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/SiPageauthor/ and Twitter http://twitter.com/Siberpasta
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