Read L'Homme invisible by H.G. Wells Free Online
Book Title: L'Homme invisible|
The author of the book: H.G. Wells
Edition: Hachette Jeunesse
Date of issue: November 30th 2002
ISBN 13: 9782013220729
Format files: PDF
The size of the: 7.11 MB
City - Country: No data
Loaded: 1837 times
Reader ratings: 5.2
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This is the story of how one angry, naked, sneezing albino managed to terrorize the English countryside.
To be quite honest, I expected a bit more from the people who single-handedly fended off the Nazis. But Wells seemed to think his fellow countrymen would be a bit too inept to toss a sheet over the shivering bastard and punch him in the throat.
1) There may be spoilers for this 100+ year old book in the review.
2) Only comment if you have a WORKING sense of humor.
3) Seriously. Read # 2 again before you correct my review.
When I first started reading, I assumed that The Invisible Man would be about a guy who was slowly driven mad by this unusual condition.
He was a world class douchebag long before embarking on his experiment to become see-through. Although, if I had to point out one major difference between his beginning vs. his end? Well, I'm guessing his dick & balls hadn't permanently retreated into his body before he became the World's Meanest Nudist.
Really, dude? Really? Winter is not kind to nekkid folks. As every Mad Scientist will tell you, you've got to plan ahead. Mother Nature will not bend to your nefarious whims! Turn on the Weather Channel next time, moron.
So, Griffin (that's the Invisible Man's name) discovers a magic not magic formula that allows his molecules to have fewer surfaces for light to refract off, and if he combines that with electrocuting not electrocuting himself with some sort of a radio wave contraption, he will become invisible.
He tested it out on a cat, and it sorta worked. Except for the cat's eyes. Don't worry, though. The cat is fine! Not really. It's probably dead.
One thing I found interesting was that until his body absorbed food, it remained visible. Which led me to spend quite a bit of my afternoon thinking about whether or not you could see his poop moving through his intestines. And if it did remain visible, that meant his Kryptonite could quite literally be cheese!
Think about it, people.
You could track him if he's constipated!
Ha! I'll bet those assholes at MENSA are totally rethinking that rejection letter now.
Yeah, so all they had to do was get a big cauldron (or Fry-Daddy) bubbling with oil, and then cook up a shit ton of mozzarella sticks. If placed strategically around the village, they could have had Griffin backed up and praying for prunes in no time. Between the groaning and visibly distended intestines, it would have been Problem Solved within two days.
Ok, so Wells does his dead-level best to make invisibility seem like a curse, but the reality was this was an AWESOME power. He's fucking invisible!
The only reason Griffin wasn't immediately the richest man in the kingdom, was due to his a-hole personality. All he had to do was tell people about his amazing discovery! Instead, he shoots himself in the dick trying to keep it a secret. Sure, the people in that first hillbilly town might not have been receptive. At least, not at first, anyway...
Witchcraft! Kill it with fire, Cletus!
But show up at a Science Fair (or wherever smart people hang out), and he would have been carried off on his peers' weak & nerdy shoulders!
I mean, his buddy Kemp was thoroughly impressed...until he started voluntarily boasting about his somewhat ill-thought-out crimes, and revealing his idiotic plans for world domination.
Which, by the way, was the least well-planned villain plot...ever...in the history of badly planned villain plots!
Terror? A reign of terror ? That's it?!
What's the endgame, Griffin?
Give me all your money! Or Terror!
Make me king of the world! Or Terror!
WTF, man? I think you're overestimating yourself a bit there...
Sure, it's a bit spooky that you can't be seen, but, eventually, even the stupidest of villagers will band together & figure out that you can be taken down by a dog with a good nose...or cheese!
Which is pretty much what happens.
Except for the part about cheese. If only they had consulted someone with my level of genius intellect, poor Adye would still be alive. Tsk.
He stupidly tries to implement his Reign of Terror, and manages to get a few good shots in, but eventually becomes the recipient of the ass beating of a lifetime.
Moral of the story: Even if you're a genius, don't be a dick.
You will inevitably freeze your balls off, catch a nasty cold, and end up bludgeoned to death by people with half your intellect. Because all us stupid people know how to wield sticks, goddammit!
Buddy Read with Jeff, Delee, Evgeny, Tadiana, Stepheny, Will (be gentle it's his first time), Dan (he found a free copy!), Dan 2.0 (if he can remember his password), Alissa, Christopher, Steve, Jess, Licha, MIRIAM (because she can't quit us!), Jenna, (latecomer) Auntie J, Ginger & Carmen (cutting it a little close there, Carmen!). Honorary Buddy-Reader: Karly *The Vampire Ninja & Lumi...Lumin...Sparkly Monster*
We gotta do this again, guys!
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Read information about the authorIn 1866, (Herbert George) H.G. Wells was born to a working class family in Kent, England. Young Wells received a spotty education, interrupted by several illnesses and family difficulties, and became a draper's apprentice as a teenager. The headmaster of Midhurst Grammar School, where he had spent a year, arranged for him to return as an "usher," or student teacher. Wells earned a government scholarship in 1884, to study biology under Thomas Henry Huxley at the Normal School of Science. Wells earned his bachelor of science and doctor of science degrees at the University of London. After marrying his cousin, Isabel, Wells began to supplement his teaching salary with short stories and freelance articles, then books, including The Time Machine (1895), The Island of Dr. Moreau (1896), The Invisible Man (1897), and The War of the Worlds (1898).
Wells created a mild scandal when he divorced his cousin to marry one of his best students, Amy Catherine Robbins. Although his second marriage was lasting and produced two sons, Wells was an unabashed advocate of free (as opposed to "indiscriminate") love. He continued to openly have extra-marital liaisons, most famously with Margaret Sanger, and a ten-year relationship with the author Rebecca West, who had one of his two out-of-wedlock children. A one-time member of the Fabian Society, Wells sought active change. His 100 books included many novels, as well as nonfiction, such as A Modern Utopia (1905), The Outline of History (1920), A Short History of the World (1922), The Shape of Things to Come (1933), and The Work, Wealth and Happiness of Mankind (1932). One of his booklets was Crux Ansata, An Indictment of the Roman Catholic Church. Although Wells toyed briefly with the idea of a "divine will" in his book, God the Invisible King (1917), it was a temporary aberration. Wells used his international fame to promote his favorite causes, including the prevention of war, and was received by government officials around the world. He is best-remembered as an early writer of science fiction and futurism.
He was also an outspoken socialist. Wells and Jules Verne are each sometimes referred to as "The Fathers of Science Fiction". D. 1946.
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