Read The Savage Hawkman, Vol. 2: Wanted by Rob Liefeld Free Online
Book Title: The Savage Hawkman, Vol. 2: Wanted|
The author of the book: Rob Liefeld
Edition: DC Comics
Date of issue: December 10th 2013
ISBN: No data
ISBN 13: No data
Format files: PDF
The size of the: 3.27 MB
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Loaded: 1100 times
Reader ratings: 3.1
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Also reviewed for Shallow Comic Readers.
Because there simply aren't enough superheroes with hairy shoulders...
So. Besides needing to bathe in hair remover, what's wrong with The Savage Hawkman?
His speech, for one.
"The arena turned up a goose egg, but I was able to book us passage on a freighter."
Do all Thanagarians sound like senior citizens, or just Grandpa Hawkman?
Or saying shit like, my armor has suitors, instead of saying...oh, I don't know...
People are trying to steal my fucking armor!
But apparently, part of his charm is that nonsense bubbles out of his mouth in a steady stream.
One of my favorite lines was the one he used to explain why he's got hidey-holes with extra money and clothes stashed all over the place.
In my line of work, paranoia creeps in.
Well, he's talking about his 'work' as Hawkman, right?
He's talking about his job...as an archaeologist.
Because when I think of dangerous professions, ARCHAEOLOGY immediately pops into my mind.
Yep. It's right up there with Snail Wrangler and Marshmallow Catcher.
Normally, no horrible comic is complete until Hawkman shows up, right?
What character can even begin to compete with his lameness?
Pssst. Don't worry. They've got it covered.
Time for a team-up with Green Arrow!
Yeah. It's awful.
But it begs the question: Can you really gauge the levels of hell?
I mean, you're already reading Hawkman. Can a lame team-up really make it worse?
I'd love to know how the decision to bring in the other New 52 Loser came about. If this title hadn't been cancelled, I'm sure his next partner would have been Mr Terrific. Because after Green Arrow, you really have to scrape the barrel pretty hard to find anything else left on the bottom.
Deathstroke shows up, and for some reason, he's wearing Nth metal, as well. Nobody knows why.
It's a question best left for another day...
But he sticks around long enough to tack on (yet another) fight scene.
However, I personally felt Deathstroke's appearance was overshadowed by the appearance of fan-favorite St. Bastion!
Yeah. I didn't know who he was, either.
He looks like an Azrael knock-off. Because Azrael is a fan-favorite, as well.
Said no one. Ever.
Speaking of Nth Metal...
Oh. My. Fucking. God.
This guy never shut up about this stupid Nth metal! Every other fucking word out of his beaky-face was Nth metal this, or Nth metal that. Half the book (I'm not exaggerating even a little bit) was an inner monologue about his love affair with this spechul golden armor.
On the upside, we get a couple of different backstories for Carter. On the downside, neither of them work.
In the first origin story, Carter is a Thanigarian hippie that's engaged to the princess.
PEACE at all costs, brother. Love is all we need...
The only thing missing was the scent of patchouli. Seriously.
Does that sound anything like the Hairy Menace with a Mace?
No. No, it does not.
In the second origin story, he tells a different tale to this wacky chick called the Shadow Thief.
He was a gladiator who was plucked from obscurity and welcomed into the Royal family. He witnesses their luxury and excesses (picture a group of scantily clad women feeding a man grapes) and was sickened by it.
Evidently, he was so sickened by it, that he decided to propose to the princess.
Hello. My name is Carter Hall. And I am a world-class douche.
While we're on the subject of douchebags...
DeFalco is apparently under the impression that if someone is experiencing any form of dementia, every third word out of their mouth is ahhhhh.
For example, when Emma's father goes to meet with the (evil) doctor to discuss his treatment options, it sounded like this:
"Dr. Phayne, this is a ...ahhh...real pleasure. I've read up on...ahhh...your work with...ahhh...Alzheimer's patients."
Awesome. That's not annoying to read.
Then, to add insult to injury, he turned a sweet mentally challenged young man with dementia (we know this because of the way he said...ahhh...) into a raging monster called Blockbuster.
"You think me stupid? Too dumb to know what special means?"
And, because DeFalco is a total dickhole...
"I have power to take what I want..and I want pretty lady!"
Because I think people need to see more mentally disabled folks getting their perv on! They don't have enough problems with the way people perceive them, so I think it's a good idea to feature them as rapey villains.
*thunderous applause followed by standing ovation*
Take a bow, asshole. You're officially Peckerhead of the Year.
Luckily, Hawkman is a card-carrying member of the Justice League of America.
After getting his ass handed to him by Blockbuster, calling Amanda Waller for help, and getting backup in the form Simon Baz (the Green Lantern nobody cares about), he makes a life-changing decision.
"From this day forward, my prime responsibility is to...
the Justice League of America!"
Well. It's official. That title is as good as canceled.
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Read information about the authorRob Liefeld is an American comic book writer, illustrator, and publisher. A prominent artist in the 1990s, he has since become a controversial figure in the medium.
In the early 1990s, self-taught artist Liefeld became prominent due to his work on Marvel Comics' The New Mutants and later X-Force. In 1992, he and several other popular Marvel illustrators left the company to found Image Comics, which rode the wave of comic books owned by their creators rather than by publishers. The first book published by Image Comics was Rob Liefeld's Youngblood #1.
He is married to actress Joy Creel.
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